Beryl

I just got a friend request from someone named "Beryl." I mean she obvi wasn't a real person (cause real recognize real) but it DID remind me of Queen Beryl....ya know...the villain from the first season of Sailor Moon? C'mon people. Anyway I just really miss when Sailor Moon was the only girl who could complicate my life, whether it be re-runs or maybe she was fucking up or maybe USA rescheduled her. I guess really more Sailor Saturn affected me because I had a crush on her but who can resist a petite dark haired girl with an accent and C-cup breasts and a PERFECTLY drawn ass right? Don't give me that "uh...dude that was a carto-" YOU SHUT IT! Anyway what was I saying?

It probably wasn't important. I've been pretty much living off of Ramen noodles lately. You might call it something different like "Cup of Noodles" or "Yakisoba" but it all means the same thing - you're poor. So recently I've noticed that they've been making ramen a little fancier. At Grocery Store X the other day I saw what was called "Choice Ramen." Instead of the normal $.09 cents a pack this shit was like $.40. So I sprung the extra cash and hit it up. IT IS DOUBLE PACKAGED! And the noodles are like yellower. And the seasoning packet is a crumble instead of a powder. Why did I tell you this. BECAUSE THAT'S FUCKING WEIRD. Leave ramen alone! If I wanted fancy food I'd eats something that didn't have 144 carbs per serving.

I've been watching Saved By the Bell a lot lately too (because sitting in a room eating ramen in SILENCE would be a little weird) and I've decided I really want to date a girl that works at the Max. Those bitches are always fly and they cut their shirts. Not to mention that Lisa Turtle was wearing purple and red jeans way before American Apparel was feeding them to you en masse. I'd persue Kelly Kapowski but when she became Valerie on 90210 I kind of lost interest. I heard recently that Jessie did porn? Ironic.

E.v.a. recorded a new song. It should be up in the next couple of days. It's about specific highlights in the career of Mandy Moore. ACTING career that is. No "Candy" or "Walk Me Home" here. Although I wouldn't mind a So Real II. I'm pretty down with sequels. For example - I'm psyched out of my mind about The Dark Knight. (Heath is lucky his death didn't push back the release date or I would have revived that motherfucker and guided his body through a fucking table saw and no bat signal or lance-wielding horseback knight in the world would be able to save him.)

Although chances are if you saw Hellboy II I don't care for you as a person.

Fierce Nipple Pierce

I really want to go to a theme park. I've never been to Disney World before.
I know. Let that shock wear off. Whenever I tell anyone that I always have them say like "Omgggg WHAT! It's the best place ever! I go every year every June every hour on the hour! My family always lets me go and bring 23 of my friends and it's the best moments of my life! You should go!" Oh word? Can I go wi- "I meant with someone that isn't me." Oh..word...
I used to never wanna go to theme parks. But that's because I didn't ride rides. You all have that friend that is a fucking pussy about roller coasters. And they never tell you that shit til you're already at Carowinds standing in line for Batman: The Ride. Yeah that used to be me. But now that every day I wish I was dead, that fear of roller coasters has transformed into a win-win situation.

Ladysmith Black Mambazo, my black Jetta turbo is like ska - fucking dead. I've been riding around in my new friend, Killa Camry. That motherfucker is some '09 shit. Now I know you're thinkin to yourself and maybe even outloud "But ryan, it's two thousand eig-" STOP RIGHT THERE! 1. It's Two Thousand HATE; 2. I drive future shit. I'm on some not even out yet shit. Just because I live MMH8, doesn't mean I can't ride MM9. I'm pretty sure if I hit 88mph in this I can land in the parking lot of Twin Pines Mall.

Someone tell me why A*Teens is so fucking good. Is it cause their drums don't come at me with the POOF? Is it cause all their shit is floorfillers? Is it cause I wanna fuck the blonde one? Maybe even the girl. It could be their piano interludes. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS! But I know it's sick. On the same sickness as LFO and B*Witched. Approaching Michelle Branch pre-country revolution. What the fuck is that anyway Michelle? Oh you love country now? Fuck you, I love hooks.

E.v.a. recorded a song in a living room the other day which you can checkout at http://www.myspace.com/evaH8. It's also in my links which is to the...right? To the right of this txt. It's pretty ridiculous and very 1999. We'll be recording more songs actually this weekend that are considerably more intense and "serious" but equally as dated and nonsensical.

I family double dare any of you to fuck with me in Puzzle Fighter or Puzzle Kombat.

In closing, Steve Correll isn't funny, Emmure fucking sucks, and WALL-e is cinematic perfection.