I just heard and saw Palin for the first time last week. This is a direct quote from her speech, that she gave to America, as a vice-presidential (OF THE UFUCKINGNITED STATES) candidate: ::ahem:: "do you know the difference between a pitbull and a soccer mom? The lipstick."
No Palin, that's the difference between you and Jeff Foxworthy. In fact, that's where the fuck you belong - On the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Not in a position of power. You look like Tina Fey's fat transexual son! THIS BITCH SKINS ELK! Or caribou! Or something! FUCK!
Democratic women don't like Palin. I know you think that they do - false. What DO democratic women like? Abortion and Hilarry Clinton. And sometimes pussy. Although they might still be on the fence. See they were jello shootin' pretty hard at a party recently and that goddamn Katy Perry song came in and they couldn't help themselves and now they're shopping for pencil skirts. Anyway Palin doesn't like any of those things. Democratic women only listen to Hilarry! Hil could be like yo, all you bitches read all the Harry Potter books by this weekend and get a tattoo on your throat of Daffy Duck and those bitches would be doing Expecto Patronum spells talkin' bout "You're Despicable." So please don't think Palin is shit aight dawg?
I mean look at the bitch's family. There's the youngest daughter who's in her matching pink with pink on pink. Very girly. That's cute. Then there's the middle daughter. There's really nothing to say about her because she's the MIDDLE daughter meaning no one loves her anyway. She's hardly a person, but she's smiling which is good and hiding the track marks and that's important! Then there's the oldest daughter. She's named after a Bay. Because that's what you do when you're white - name your children after landmarks. I was excited to see her because I heard she was pregnant so I assumed she was gonna be hot enough that SOMEONE fucked her while she was still at pep rallies for the high school lacrosse team. Not the case. I mean you'd think they'd slide her $400 and get that shit taken care of before this campaign. Third trimester or not. If its not born yet, then its fixable.
Speaking of abortion, Urban Outfitters needs to step their game up. Where's my "I <3 Abortion" shirt? The back can say "Problem Solved" and come in 17 zany colors like electric yellow and tangelo. And then faggots can wear them with other clothes that have 7 or 8 colors on them and they'll think its macthing. Because not matching is the new macthing. Print em up.
