But before I do that, I gotta eat. And as you know, it IS PFE (Pumpkin Fucking Everything) season so I heard about a new spic spot opening down tha way and decided to see if they had pumpkin tacos. My waitress told me I took her "vegan virginity" by being tha first to order from tha vegan menu. I told her that was ironic since most vegans are, in fact, virgins.
Tha only thing cool about being vegan other than pissing your parents off is that it gives you an excuse to eat weird shit because it's already fucking weird you won't eat a Monster Burger. This is why I'll put Vegenaise of fucking...ANYTHING. Sandwiches? Yes. Chinese food? Absolutely. Cupcakes? Non issue. I'll put Vegenaise...on more Vegenaise!
But probably my favorite thing to put Vegenaise in is ramen noodles. I've never used seasoning in my ramen because tha foil packet it comes in scares tha shit outta me. I used to date a girl (huh? I thought you were ga-) who told me she has NEVER eaten ramen before. Initially, I was blown away but then I thought about things she'd done that I'd never done before. I've never smoked a crack pipe before and she didn't judge ME for it so I guess we were just from two different worlds.
