IGNYTSTFU

"Tha economy is in shambles blah blah" LISTEN...I have REAL problems okay? For one, this fucking Taco Bell is outta Baja Blast. Occupy THAT! Also, I haven't had tha easiest time locating Pumpkin Spice Silk this year. Now I contacted my congressman about that and he told me to go find a pumpkin soy cow and laughed at me. REAL FUNNY. Now I know what you're expecting here: me to either defend Occupy: Wall Street like Man Overboard defends pop-punk or to attack it and tell you why it's stupid like a sequel to Stay Alive. Although Stay Alive did have Peter from Heroes. Heroes was a good show. I know posers who started watching it after it went off tha air don't blog about it like Lost (see: 90% of Tumblr), but it ruled. And never really concluded. Kinda like when I went and saw Twilight. I left once Kevin from tha O.C. started chasing Kristen Stewart so that way, it would never end in my mind!




What was my point?


Oh yeah.


Posers.


So Occupy Wall Street, also known as First World Problems, is actually a great cause, message, and idea. But unfortunately tha messengers of tha message are not really who should be actin' like they know what they're talking about. Fighting for a civil liberty isn't quite tha same as fighting for a credit score. When you're barely out of your teens, unemployed, never OCCUPIED...a job, and never paid taxes I'm gonna need ya to shut tha fuck up. When you spent $150,000 on a degree and can't find a lot of work as an injury lawyer (maybe next time don't go to Yale? Or...major in tha handbells or whatever) I'm gonna need ya to shut tha fuck up. If you liked tha movie (500) Days of Summer? IGNYTSTFU.








If you truly advocate OWS, I'm sure you're not naive enough to your own cause to realize there are people that aren't genuine that do NOT really get it that are trying to bandwagon and are misrepresenting tha real frontliners out there...and unfortunately that is tha MAJORITY of tha online posts my poor peepers are forced to see all day long on tha interweb machines. I just hope you all have saved enough money over tha years to...






Buy tha new Demi Lovato album! Unbroken! Tha title is NOT referring to my heart while I listen to it because there are some real tear jerkers here but I stick to tha club bangers and guest spot tracks. I was really conflicted on whether or not to BUY it as I don't want Demi to stop cutting herself and I'm afraid if she's TOO successful she'll be too happy. No no don't take that tha wrong way! All I'm saying is that she obviously makes tha best career moves when under a low carb (aka food at all) diet and when she's...um...DETOXING herself of needless life fluid. OH!...and I like it when girls cut themselves. But who's to say this wasn't just a ploy to get her to get some press away from that Selena Gomez trick? Now don't get me wrong, Wizards of Waverly Place is tha best show on television and I LOVE Alex Russo. I just...hate Selena Gomez. Let's not forget she's tha biggest Belieber in tha joint and have you seen that little shit? Guilty by association. It's a policy you should adapt too.





I always thought she'd end up with someone offensively older than her like...George Clooney or something. But no. Clooney is railing Stacy Keibler who should really be with ME and most mornings it feels like she is since it's November and my Maxim calendar is still on January so we can wake up together.





But then I realize we'll never be together because Lindsay Lohan would find out and think this whole her being tha most important woman in my life shit has been a farce and then she's gonna cut herse-...wait a minute. I could use a new Lindsay Lohan album.