8.09.2009

The Death of Shark Week

I think it's funny that I work with really shitty people. Like...the kind of people I would fight or kill in real life. But I'm pleasant to these faggots for the sake of a nice work environment. Thanks HR! But sometimes they aren't pleasant to each other, or even better - the ones they love don't have the same rules I do. This is the story of such an event. So basically...there's this scumbag monkey looking motherfucker named... well we'll call him Bubbles. I would call him Trixie Kong or Curious George or Flava Flav but I didn't hate those monkeys and I surely hated King Kai's fucking primate Bubbles. So Bubbles sucks and he's married to this FLY bitch. She's latin and probably listens to Shakira but the Spanish versions and she orders her fajitas with the corn tortillas and says vato and gringo alot. Then there's also this disgusting fat fuck named... we'll call her Fat Sweaty Betty. She thinks she's hot but her face looks like its melting. And she's fat. Hence "fat fuck." FSB is also, somehow, married. So Bubbles and Betty. They're fuckin' right. And Bubbles' fly as FUCK wife finds "I love you emails" from FSB to Super Scrub...


and fucking stabs him in the spleen!

Knife. Spleen. Connection. Bam. I think I'm in love. So Bubba comes into work...and I can't stop laughing at this dude. Or making spleen references. Spleen you doing today? How's it spleening out there? I need a new spleensaver. Like yo you got stabbed in the spleen after fucking a fat bitch, you might wanna relocate cause errrbody knows yr bizness. Sidenote: Bubbles' wife's facebook status? "Betty, I'm going to kill you."

EPIC. STOKED.

So what I'm really trying to say is...date a Latin girl. Cause she's down to take blades to a motherfucker if neccessary. And I find that very attractive.

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