Greatest Hits

I just saw these hearing aids that are disguised as Bluetooths. They're designed to look like Bluetooth headsets for people who are too embarassed to wear legit hearing aids. So...they're not okay with you knowing they're deaf but they're more than alright with you thinking that they're a douchebag. Oh, if you wear a Bluetooth? You're a douchebag. Ah-ah-ah-ah-AH! NO!...you're a douchebag.

I went to enjoy a delicious wrap at my favorite local wrappery. Getting down with some wrapparations (see what I did there?). And I ordered it with no tomatoes. The bitch taking my order goes "Oh don't worry sir. I know what you're worried about and I assure you our tomatoes are salmonella free and are fine for you." Um...no bitch. They're not fine. You know why? Cause...they're still tomatoes! Tomatoes are fucking gross! Hey. Go in the back. Check the tomatoes and see if they're still tomatoes. If they are? Keep 'em the fuck off my shit!


I don't understand the arrogance of Mac users. "Oh man I can't believe I ever owned a PC! Macs are so much better." You're an idiot. Put Shinedown or whatever raperock your're gettin' down with on pause and listen to me: its the same shit. Except Apple isn't smart enough to add the right click button on the mouse. "Virus Software? Ha! I do not need such things. I have a MAC." Correct. Cause what fucking hacker is going to waste their time writing a virus to wipe out your photo gallery of your trip to Brussels or your home DJ software. They'd rather hit the 90 Bajillion (factual statistic) PC users who store credit cards and shit on their desktop.

If you saw 9, and you know that Twilight is the worst movie ever made, tell me what you thought about it. I haven't seen it yet but I'm a sucker for Jennifer Connely ever since she wanted to kill that baby in Labyrinth.

Ffyfb,

- RR