Aftr Dindr

White people are terrifying.

I think we can all agree on that, no argument. But to really understand tha extent of tha fear you should have of their evolution, you need look no further than a thing I've just been fully explained: TINDER.

First of all, tha name is legitimately an allusion to vanerial disease. How sick is that. Both sick as in cool and sick as in nauseating. But y'all are like yo I'm lookin' for tha pop tart equivalent of a human being and to acquire that I'ma upload a picture and start swiping. Not only that, but this shit is utilizing GPS, as in satellites from space and shit to find you a fuck buddy! That's incredible.

Now I'm not saying wanting to bang strangers is wrong or that meeting people on tha internet is weird because tha internet is more real life than real life is at this point but what I'm really getting at is, you're using tha technology incorrectly.

If you wanna meet some ditz or douche who's dtf, save your battery and go to LITERALLY ANY BAR. If you're gonna use trigonometric pinpoints to seek and destroy let's make it for something a little more difficult to acquire. That's why I'm proposing...

AFTER DINDR: an app that let's you match up with people who are down to bake you desserts. I don't want to even talk to you, let's get to business - How are you cupcake skills?! YOUR app is for thirst, I'm more interested in hunger. You think "rhubarb" is a pie flavor? Swipe fucking left. It's 2am and you got pumpkin roll in tha oven?...

Let's "hangout."

:|