Soused

THREE MONTHS?! What the fuck could I have possibly been doing for 3 months? Well truth be told, I was caught up in an intense tournament of Celebrity Connect Four. Connect Four should not fool you by its simple concept and clear segregation of native american and people without high school diplomas: It's a thinking man's game. Now that doesn't mean you have to be a genius to play it. I've seen grandmothers who try to use TV remotes to make long distance phone calls cut some ass in Connect Four. It just is all strategy. It's like Survivor but gay people aren't allowed to win. And before you get mad, it's okay. I can say shit like that because both of my dads are gay.


Man I am THIRSTY! It's a good thing you don't have to talk to type. If I was a crippled, on top of not being human, I'd be real bummed out that I'd have to speak everything I wanna type 'cause my pallette couldn't handle it. I typically don't like drinking soda but something about the Taco Bell exclusive!!!!! Mt. Dew Baja Blast I feel an exception for. I like Taco Bell a lot, I just wish...I wish no one worked there. Not because I have poor customer service experiences with my local burrito artists [TM] but because you always meet motherfuckers from Taco Bell. And what do they always wanna tell you right after you ask for free cinnamon twists? "Oh you shouldn't eat there. Don't eat the ground beef." They always tell you that you're about to die but never why! You'll be like well what's in the ground bee- "DON'T EAT IT MAN. TRUST YA NIGGA ON THIS SHIT."



I don't even eat meat and I still need to know what the fuck is going on with the ground beef. I need to know what's in that, and what the fuck is in nyquil. Nyquil is the only sleep inducing substance that you're not supposed to have anything else with. Why? BECAUSE IT WILL FUCKING KILL YOU! You never read "Do not take alcohol with Ubisom." But there's like a red skull and crossbones with an online link to fill out your will on a Nyquil bottle. Which by the way, if you're working on your will, please bequeeth me something. I would like to be told I'm being bequeethed and not in the middle of Reno, Nevada at a place called the Pink Pony writing a check for $453.00. Post-dated.